Thursday, January 11, 2018

Yo Yo's and Grey Hair

Just to prove that I finished something....

It's not much, but it still feels great to mark a project as complete.

granny spreads done

I bought a couple of clearance  quilt kits after Christmas, one I hope to make into a wall hanging for my livingroom.  I found an awesome deal on Elsa and Anna fleece no sew blankets (you know, the ones you tie the fringe together) , so I bought two to make for the my granddaughters.  They really need another blanket... :-))

L@@k at this grey hair

Ok, so this is me and the top of my hair!  Back in the summer,  I had all the color cut out of my hair, just to see how much grey is really there.  (I have colored my hair since I was in my 30's... before I even needed to color)  It was a fun experiment with the idea of letting myself go grey, embracing my age, being all natural, etc. etc.

I was thinking it looked pretty good in my own lighting at home.  Every now and then I would catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror if I was out somewhere in different lighting and think 'hmmm.... looking old there , Penpen."

My  final decision was made for me during a Christmas party at my sis in law's house.  Known for saying what she thinks, she gazed into my hair and said "what have you done?"  I proudly replied "nothing.... it's all natural."  She replied, "well whatever it is, don't do any more of it."  SHE POPPED MY BUBBLE!  She told me it looks as if I had it 'frosted'.... anyone remember when we had our hair frosted?  I do and I did!

So I came home and took some pics of the top of my  head, just to see what others might be seeing.

Since it's a new year, a new me, etc.... I've decided to have my hair colored  on my next  salon visit.  

I am not going to lie... I feel like 'something' happened to me when my own mother died almost 3 years ago.  A part of me went with her.  I just didn't care much about most things any longer.  I went into survival mode.  It didn't matter how I looked, because I was going to die soon, too.  Just be.... take care of daddy.... do the best I can.

I quit my job, gained weight, spent a lot of time on the couch, rarely went outdoors, stopped walking the dogs (they have a fenced in yard), slept a lot, ate terribly., developed high blood pressure and gastric reflux .... you name it, all the typical signs of depression. (something i've fought all my life)

I saw my doctor several times, who recognized my depression and has been very kind and patient while seeing me through this.

Several things happened at Christmas, besides the hair color comment, that made me take a good look at myself.  The blood pressure and gastric reflux really really got my attention, because I thought I was having a heart attack one night.  Something had to give....

So, it's 2018.  Time for a change, time to get back to being me , time to look after me, to improve my health and my outlook.  And time to color my hair!  

Life is beginning again in 2018.

*Prayers welcome*


Wendi said...

I've been debating about coloring my hair. I'm turning 47 tomorrow and have noticed more and more gray. Like today... I generally wear my hair up until we are at church, a gathering or going out for dinner. Well, today I wore it down to the grocery. I bent over and my hair fell to the side and I wondered who had all of that gray hair! ha! I'm not reall great at maintenance so I don't know....

Praying you can made the changes you need to feel better!

Karen said...

I for one think you look just fine with the gray hair. Much like mine only I probably have more. I decided a long time ago to grow old gracefully and have never colored my hair. And my husband did not want me to color it. But if you would feel better with color, do what makes you feel best. I will miss you, though, in the Sisterhood of Gray Hair. LOL! P.S. Three of my old work friends visited me last week. Two of them had stopped coloring their hair and both looked quite attractive with their gray hair.

Anne in the kitchen said...

If you want to you can join my club. I have no idea what color my hair really is and don't plan to find out. In 2017 alone I have been blond (about 5 different shades, brunette, and auburn
I am trying to take care of Mom who fights any attempt to make her life easier. She is like dealing with a 2 year old who has her own money and opinions about everything, but can't unlock her house locks or work her thermostat, or take care of her finances.
I am trying hard to stay positive, but there are days when it is very difficult, so I decided I will get up everyday, put on some semblance of make up, do my hair (even if the do of the day is simply pulled back and clipped) and meet the day in somewhat decent clothes. (emphasis on somewhat___somewhat might just mean clean sweatpants with no rips or bleach stains and a long sleeve tee shirt) I figure I can be down in the dumps but making a little effort in how I meet the day seems to have changed my attitude about me a little.
Next step__my surroundings! I have got to get a grip on some of the excess we have and also get the entire upstairs back in order from the holidays. I have decided to make a yoyo coverlet for the granddaughter room and I am also going to try my hand at a pom pom rug to go next to her bed. I think if I create something I will feel a little better.

Allie-oops Designs said...

Well - first, I love your yo-yo's! Second, I love your gray hair! But it's how YOU feel about it that counts. I don't color mine anymore [don't want the chemicals] but when I see pics of myself, I question that decision, lol...

Grief is hard. Grief lasts a really, really long time. I was in my 50's before I realized that the reason I got depressed every October was because October was when my dad died...when I was SEVENTEEN. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself now, it sounds like you're on the right track hon. Prayers for you!!!!

Debbie said...

I love your gray hair...I think it is so pretty! I do understand though if it makes you feel old or you don't like it, then you need to do whatever it is that makes you feel better about yourself. I remember feeling that way in my 30's when my gray started coming in. By my early 40's I was getting compliments on my "highlights" so I just stopped coloring my hair. I would say that I am about half gray and half brown haired at this point, but I can live with it. It's when my hair needs a good haircut and Jeff and I can't get to cutting it that drives me now! ;)

Deanna said...

I think you wear your hair well! Grey.
So sorry about the loss of your Mom. May God comfort you.
2018 here we come,

Laura Lane said...

I could have written so many things in this post at different times of my life dear lady. I felt like I buried part of myself with my mama, too. God is good though, and he's bringing me through it all.

I like your hair! Do as YOU wish, not as anyone else wishes.
Hugs to you,
Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

P.S. Thank you for being so sweet and supportive these past months.

Ivona said...

I love your gray hair, sending lots of happiness your way.

sunny said...

I personally, like your hair! But you need to do what feels best for you. It's amazing what the slightest little change can do for our moods/emotions. I hope you can continue to crawl out of the hole you're in. I never really understood how awful depression can be until I was there. Be gentle with yourself. And please send me your snail mail address! Hugs.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

You go girl! You can do this and I appreciate you sharing your story here with me. ((Hugs)) I am so happy that you are seeing someone who is helping you through this time in your life. I do think your gray hair is very pretty.

Design Originals by KC said...

Glad I stopped into your latest blog post Penny... I LOVE GREY HAIR... and having grey almost white hair myself these days I don't think it is a matter of poor self care but a choice... maybe your family member doesn't appreciate your choice in this matter... as for the other things.. I agree time to take charge and make some changes... we have done that over the last year and I am currently wondering why I am stuck not losing weight but still eating uber healthy and moving about daily etc... so I will continue and cut back portion sizes until the scale agrees I am losing again! lol But as for me... I will stay grey /white and loving it! Be proud of who your mom left behind... not all of the old Penpen may survive in this transformation too btw... just my humble opinions here though! :)

Design Originals by KC said...

BTW.... I love your yo yo head rests you finished to make coordinate too ... they look nice and your grandkids won't have to share as much to play and have fun then you can easily replace them when they leave to go home :D Win/win it sounds like to me! Kathi

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Love your finish dear! I guess I am blessed because my greys are more of a silver and looks pretty good according to my Jack. Good enough for me!

Debbie J said...

I think your hair is beautiful! But, I totally relate to you wanting to color it. We all have that one relative or friend who doesn't have much tact! LOL I think my gray hair would not be as pretty as yours, but who knows what's under there!

Glad you are finding what you need to do to be happy and healthy! You are a beautiful and sweet person and deserve the best.

I know you miss your Mama.

I had a kind of a drastic hair cut this week, and my husband thought I had lost weight. NOT! My hair was getting too long and plain looking. Flat on top and dragged my face down, which is already going down. So now I have a little bit of bangs and layers. I think it makes me look a "little" younger. I will be having a milestone birthday this year!!! Yikes!

You on the other hand are a young thing! :o)

Evelyn Edgett said...

I have done the depression gig--not a fun place to be, girlfriend. As far as your hair, do whatever makes you happy. I was a purply red head for several years, until one day I decided that I wanted to go back to a soft brown. Folks asked my husband (aka the Redneck) if he missed my violent red hair. He told them nope, that had made ME happy, it was my decision, and he was good with it. I have been so busy the past few months, I haven't been coloring it, and it has faded to a funky gray blonde. I am normally pale skinned, but without any color in my hair right now I look like I should be wearing a cape and fangs. So I will be getting out the color soon!

Melanie said...

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with depression. I go through mild short-lasting times struggle is mostly anxiety. I have it terribly. I'm not on any medication - I've tried that - and it's not the best choice for me. After much research on prescription meds (that didn't really work anyway) and finding out how dangerous they are for your body, prayer, etc. I've decided to deal with my anxiety in natural ways (meditation, yoga, deep breathing, essential oils). I am so glad you at least saw your doctor several times and that he/she is working with you.

Gray general, I think gray hair is aging on most women. However, yours looks like it blends in nicely. But it doesn't sound like you were happy with it, so I applaud you for taking care of yourself and getting your hair colored. I am 55 and have a lot of gray and it is NOT pretty or flattering on me, so I do get my hair colored. In fact, I have an appt tomorrow. I am lucky that I have a woman that colors my hair much cheaper than most salons. For anyone reading this that doesn't want to color their hair because of the chemicals, there are now natural dyes on the market. My mom uses one, but can't remember the brand name.

I'd love to see a photo of you with your new hair-do! :-)